The water is body temperature making it hard to distinguish where self ends and water begins; hard to feel where water ends and air begins. The float tank takes away the senses, it leaves self totally immersed with… well, self. And that is the whole pain and beauty of floating; nowhere to run, nowhere to hide for wherever we go, there we are.
Here are today's lessons from the float tank:
60 min felt like a lifetime today.
Training in slowness is more painful than training for a marathon. I was itchy, unsettled, & flooded with infinite thoughts.
I went in with no expectations and yet, I still expected great ah-ha moments, visualization, divine guidance.
But nothing - or so it seemed - other than me, 1000 lbs of salt, a tank full of water, a dark room, and a restless chatty mind.
I thought I was forgotten in the float tank. It was like I was in there for an infinite time. Part of me wanted to quit, get up, shower and leave. But the other part of me was content in that water, happy to be in the womb of a tank - close to self, close to the infinite void.
Then I got up feeling a little shocked at my emotions after what I had deemed as a "waste of time float", I showered slowly. My heart felt tender, my emotions were raw. I felt humbled, and still.
You see, the work is not always known to us. Sometimes it’s deeper than we can imagine. Often the work is a total act of faith.
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